Ephesians 5 and 1 Peter 3 spell out the roles of husband and wife pretty clearly for us.
The man is the head and the woman is the body. Just like Yeshua and the church. The two become one, each fulfilling different roles but working together as a unit.
Now, over the years I’ve heard quite a bit of teaching about how wives should submit to their husbands. And I think that’s correct, they should submit. The husband has the responsibility to make the final decision, after considering his wife’s needs and desires. And the wife should make sure she has communicated those clearly to him. But in the end, the husband has the responsibility to make the decision, and the wife has the responsibility to submit whether she likes it or not. (it’s not really submitting if you only submit when he’s “right”).
Ephesians 5 also makes it very clear that the husband should be sacrificing himself for his wife in the same way that Yeshua sacrificed himself for the church. Not necessarily by dying on a cross, but in essence, dying to his own desires for the benefit of his wife.
Husbands should be putting their wives first. Always. In everything.
There is no point at which Yeshua would put himself before the church. There is no point at which a husband should put himself before his wife.
Every decision has to be for her benefit.
Even the little ones. In fact, especially the little ones. What movie to watch? The romantic comedy or the war movie? It depends on the wife of course, and if she would prefer the war movie then that’s fine. But most women I know would prefer the romantic comedy. It’s a no brainer. There is no decision to make. She must come first.
There is no compromise, “this time we’ll watch the girlie movie, but next time we’ll watch the war movie”... There should be sacrifice, not compromise. “this time we’ll watch the girlie movie, but next time we’ll watch two of them!”
If there are two sweets to choose from what do you do? Let her choose first? You know she likes strawberry right... but she knows you do too, so she chooses the caramel... Such a lovely wife. You’re a lucky man. But give her the strawberry.
It’s actually a trick question. What do you do? You tell her she can have them both.
This is not rocket science.
Sacrifice is painful. You know when you’re sacrificing. And you know when you’re not.
If you are a husband you need to be sacrificing all the time.
Always making decisions which are the best for her, which put her needs and desires first. And doing it quietly, whether she is aware of it or not.
This is a huge challenge for any husband. It’s not easy. But it is God’s way for husbands.
Do you want to be the best husband you can possibly be?
Sacrifice yourself for her.