Why do we always pretend that we are what we’re not? Or we’re not what we are?
We pretend that we do or don’t like things that the people around us do and don’t like...
We pretend that everything is OK when we know it’s not.
Usually we do this to avoid REJECTION.
We hate rejection. We will do anything to avoid it.
Especially if the other person is someone we really like. We pretend we like jazz, or techno because “she” likes jazz or techno. We pretend we like motor racing because “he” likes fast cars...
(BTW: From what I’ve seen this kind of pretending in a new relationship lasts about 6 months, and then the real us starts struggling to come out.)
We even pretend at church... we fight and yell in the morning trying to get everyone ready on time. We swear under our breath (or not) as we race through the traffic. Then when we arrive we are instantly transformed into the stereotypical loving family with 2 children and a dog. We are all smiles and “life is lovely”. We’re fake.
Because we hate rejection.
So we become chameleons, who blend in with everyone. We make ourselves appear to be different people depending on who we are with. Everyone does that.
But Christians shouldn’t.
We are true to our head instead of true to our heart.
We have a head self ... the one we choose to let other people see. The not really me me. The one I think other people want me to be. The one I pretend to be so I don’t get rejected.
And we have a heart self... our true self.. the one we hide in case other people don’t like it. The one we really want to be but we’re too scared.
How cool would it be if we could all be who we really are without being rejected by people we care about.
How cool would church be if we could come along and not have to pretend. If we could be true to our heart self and not have to worry about what other people would think of us.
How could that happen?
How can you make it happen?
You could stop pretending... that would help.
Who gets to see the real you. The heart you? Anyone? Your partner? No-one? Why? If they reject you then they’re not people you would want to hang out with anyway... But what if you reveal your heart self and someone else is encouraged to reveal their heart self and they’re the same. How cool would that be.
But its only going to change if someone (you?) is willing to take the first risk.
What if you decided you didn’t care about being rejected? What if you decided that it was more important to be your heart self no matter what other people think?
And you could stop rejecting people when they reveal their heart selves. Accepting people no matter what is a tough thing to do. But isn’t that what God means by “Love your neighbour”?
Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because they tried to make themselves look good on the outside, but inside they were rotting corpses. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees because they were being true to their head selves and not their heart selves. Jesus rebuked them because their hiding of their heart self was making other people do the same thing.
Be true to your heart self.
And accept me when I’m true to mine.